Re: [2] Round 11, Part Two [Terminal Connection v. Little Black Stray] posted by kza

Yesterday, I went into some details about my vision for the Little Black Stray story idea. You can either scroll down, or click here.

Today, you’ll find some notes for the characters and their milieu, as well as the terribly depressing ending I had in mind.

(All names are placeholders.)

Griff: Movie nerds out there know that Griff is the character name that Samuel Fuller used in nearly every movie he made. Sometimes the main character, sometimes a supporting character, Griff was nearly always a guy who was painted in shades of grey; he had the ability to do heroic things, but was also very weak and could succumb to that weakness. That’s how I see this Griff — he thinks he’s tough and above emotion, and thinks he has to be to make the five. But coming into contact with the Mysterious Woman will test those beliefs, and lead him to do some awful things.

Lefty: Lefty’s been on the team for nearly as long as Griff. Six months ago, while sweeping for booby traps, Lefty was attacked by a Chomp, a robotic bear trap attached with explosives. The Chomp got Lefty’s right hand and blew up. While this kind of thing is always dangerous, it’s not incapacitating — Lefty was stabilized, and a order was called in for a replacement right hand. The hand arrived; unfortunately, it was another left hand. Lefty’s figured out how to use the second left hand so it’s almost as good as a normal right hand, but it’s still annoying to him. However, he does get a kick out of freaking out the new guys.

Geez: With a hard “g”, for “geezer”. Although, in my character sketch for Griff, I made it sound like no one has ever made the five, for dramatic purposes, I think it’s necessary for us to see both how a new guy arrives, and how someone who’s paid their dues leaves. Also, to make my ending work, I need a guy who made it out.

Despite the name, I’m not sure that Geez is necessarily an old man; it might make more sense if he were young, someone with the potential to survive, but perhaps someone’s who has prematurely aged as well. Regardless, Geez is likely the nominal leader of the team — he’s seen everything, knows every possible task, and has survived longer than the rest. I can also imagine that the rest of the team actively protects him from danger — because of his wisdom, but also to renew hope — if he can make it, the others can as well. However, it will be his time to leave, and then Griff will take over.

Newb: Just as we need to see the end of the “life cycle”, as it were, we need to see the beginning as well. I see the newbies arriving in some kind of coffin-like pod (a bit of a nod to Innocence) and retrieved by the Jukes like any other piece of equipment (and it’s likely the coffin has other supplies they’re more interested in). The Newb character will, temporarily, be the audience focus character, a way for the audience to get inside the world and get their bearings. And then, in order to undercut the whole “life cycle” thing, I’d kill him off pretty quickly. The world of the Jukes is a dangerous one, and no one is safe.

Jukes: I picked this word (a slang word the prisoners use for themselves) because I needed something and it just popped into my head. Then I found this, which I’m pretty damn sure I’d never read before. Weird!

Big Mama: First, whenever I try to imagine what this thing looks like, I always end up thinking of the Big Trak. Only, you know, without a giant keypad on top of it. (Did anyone else have one of those?) It’s got to be big enough to hold fifty (or more) prisoners, and be able to navigate difficult terrain. I figure that it operates under a primitive AI that can be modified or overridden by Boss. The Jukes ask it permission for everything: to be let in, to get supplies, etc.

The Jukes work on revolving shifts, with the population split into thirds. One third does one task, one third does another, and the last sleeps. On board Big Mama, every Juke has his own chair — this is the closest a Juke has to a room. While in the chair, a pair of glasses descend from the ceiling and are placed over the Jukes eyes — this puts the Juke into an enforced sleep, so that Big Mama can do what it needs to do. This includes emptying out the Juke’s shitsuit, bathing the Juke, feed him intravenously, and run the nocturnal emissions program. Boss isn’t too fond of homosexuality, and doesn’t want to foster it (and any feelings of kinship that may accompany it), so while the Juke is under, he has a hallucination/dream of sex with a woman (the details pulled out of the Juke’s own subconscious). While this is happening, Big Mama manually stimulates the Juke to ejaculation. Yes, ick. Even more ick: what do you think Big Mama does with all that sperm?

Of course, Boss can try all he wants to eliminate emotional connection between Jukes, but it just reappears somewhere else. When two Jukes really like each other, one will challenge the other to a ritualistic knife fight, which involves shouting insults at each other, then taking turns stabbing the other. Since medical technology is pretty advanced, this isn’t as dangerous as it seems, although some Jukes can go too far in the heat of passion. When it’s over, the two Jukes are ‘together”, and woe to anyone who gets between them.

The Ending: So what happens is that Griff (and some of the others) remove or damage the Boss chips, sabotage Big Mama (possibly killing the remaining Jukes on board during sleeptime) and run away to join the Mysterious Woman (who really needs a name) and her underground society. For a brief moment, Griff experiences true happiness. Unfortunately, one of the Jukes is a spy and still hooked up to Boss, and he relays the coordinates of the society to the authorities, who destroy it with an air strike, as the spy gets Griff and the others out of there. The spy is likely killed by Griff and/or the others.

Griff is transferred to another Juke team, and serves out the remainder of his time. He makes the five. He is sent back home. He tries to reestablish contact with his family, but has no luck. Finally, he is contacted by his little brother, now five years older. The brother explains to Griff that he is no longer welcome in the family and not to bother them anymore.

Griff tries his best to settle back into society, but it’s nearly impossible. He decides to track down Geez — maybe he can help. He finds Geez living by himself in poverty in a rundown project. Geez is doing even worse than Griff, but somehow maintains the same sense of hope for the future that he had back in the Jukes. Griff takes a knife from the kitchen, and in a Caché-esque uninterrupted long shot, proceeds to stab Geez to death. Griff picks up the phone and calls the police, and then sits silently in a chair waiting for them to come. The last shot is of the Prison Planet, where Griff will be sent back to, the only place he knows how to survive.

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