is two guys collaborating to write on writing and collaboration.

Thursday
Jun 08, 2006

Re: Round 11, Part Two [Terminal Connection v. Little Black Stray] posted by kza

Hey folks, this is Shockah. Burley’s a busy little stubblebeard, and he’s not going to be able to post for a little while, giving me the keys to run the place for the time being. This is not unlike needing a babysitter at the last minute, and turning to slacker Uncle Charlie, who asks the kids, “So, any of you know how to play dice?” But I’m sure we’ll get through it okay. Right kids? Right? Kids?

So, until Burley comes back and we can have the usual discussion about the two character sketches, I’m gonna devote the time to… well, whatever comes to mind. And am willing to commit to blog.

First up: Notes on Little Black Stray.

Normally, I’d avoid posting these kind of “designer’s notes” — it’s not like this script has been filmed and there are people clamoring to know how we did it. And even it had been filmed, it might be a bit presumptuous to expect anyone to care about its genesis. But since a) this is supposed to be a open window into our process, b) I have space to fill, and c) I really like the story idea, I’ll talk a little about its influences and how I see it developing.

The idea for how the labor camp works is actually based on material I wrote over ten years ago. I had an idea for a role-playing game adventure for the GURPS system involving a group of prisoners (the players) who are forced to clear out a section of semi-post-apocalyptic Chicago. The idea was to introduce them to this prison system (the giant prison/tank that moved them from job to job, the incredibly dangerous tasks, the constant monitoring, the weird social system that developed out of these circumstances), then have them stumble upon a lab buried underneath the rubble. They’d investigate, and encounter some a race of hideous creatures — and while that was happening, the creatures would be destroying the tank and eating the other prisoners. So the players would be freed — the authorities would assume that everyone was dead — but the only way for them to proceed would be to go deeper into the lab, and look for a way back to civilized Chicago — all the while, they’d encounter even weirder and more dangerous things.

So yeah, it was just Aliens Redux, but I always liked the idea of the mobile labor camp that seemed to have every method of control worked out, but I never knew what to do with it, exactly. (I would soon decide that game writing wasn’t the life for me, and as much as I love the Bug Hunt genre, I never really wanted to write a screenplay of one.) So it sat in my head’s cold storage for years, until this story idea came up.

The difference here, of course, is that it’s set up for a Bug Hunt, like a diorama with no figures, but the bugs never come, instead replaced with a mysterious woman, sexual tension, the prospect of sexual violence, and the specter of war crimes.

I’m not exactly sure what to do with the woman yet, but what I’m leaning towards is: there’s a community living on the supposedly uninhabited planet that the government doesn’t know about, and would cause a major scandal if revealed. There’s two kinds of tension from this. One, it’s possible that the authorities will want to cover this up if they should find out about it. Second, the community would be a kind of utopia for the prisoners, if they can find a way to escape the prison and their violent natures don’t fuck it up.

If there’s a template for this movie, it’s not really Aliens, but Samuel Fuller’s great war movie Fixed Bayonets!. I’d suggest everybody watch this movie for its own sake, but if you’re interested in my vision for this story, it’s a must.

Tomorrow, I’ll go into more details about how I see the prison working, ideas for some of the other characters, some of the situations and conflicts they might find themselves in, and my proposed, Burley-will-never-let-me-get-away-with-it Super Godawful Downer Ending. Stay tuned!

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What is Spitball!?

Spitball! is two guys collaborating to write about writing and collaboration. We're writing partners who have worked together since 2000, and placed in the top 100 in the last Project Greenlight for our script YELLOW.

Currently, we are both working on multiple screenplay, short story, and novel ideas independently and together, and collaborate on this blog.

What Spitball! used to be

Spitball! started as an attempt to collaborate on a screenplay online in real time. From January 2006 to July 2007 we worked on an interactive process to decide the story we were going to make. A full postmortem is coming, but you can find the find all the posts by looking in the category Original Version.

During this period, we affected the personalities of two of the most famous spitball pitchers from the early 20th Century. Look at our brief bios for more info about this, and so as not to be confused as to who is talking when.

We rebooted the franchise in early 2009 in its current form.


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Kent M. Beeson

Urban Shockah pic

Kent M. Beeson (aka Urban Shockah) is a stay-at-home dad and stay-at-home writer, living in Seattle, WA with his wife, 2 year old daughter and an insane cat. In 2007, he was a contributor to the film blog ScreenGrab, where he presciently suggested Jackie Earle Haley to play Rorschach in the Watchmen movie, and in 2008, he wrote a film column for the comic-book site ComiXology called The Watchman. (He's a big fan of the book, if you couldn't tell.) In 2009, he gave up the thrill of freelance writing to focus on screenplays and novels, although he sometimes posts to his blog This Can't End Well, which a continuation of his first blog, he loved him some movies. He's a Pisces, and his favorite movie of all time is Jaws. Coincidence? I think not.

Martin McClellan

Burleigh Grimes pic

Martin (aka Burley Grymz) is a designer and writer. He occasionally blogs at his beloved Hellbox, and keeps a longer ostensibly more interesting bio over here at his eponymous website. You can also find him on Twitter.