Re: Round 11, Part Four [Terminal Connection v. Little Black Stray] posted by Martin

Despite the fact at being called out as an appreciator of happy endings, I am not at all adverse to Little Black Stray ending in tragedy. Shockah knows my measurement for these things: as long as it seems like it suits the story, and isn’t being imposed for the sake of it, then I’m all good with it. I know he feels the same way, so bring on the tears!

I really liked the world presented by him, too. From the lingo to the idea of Big Mama all the way down, it feels like a well thought out world. I like the idea of the prison planet as a temporary shelter instead of a permanent place, and the idea that these jukes are forced labor clean up squads are all the better.

So, knowing that I liked that vision and wanting to find something that shoehorned with it, I turned to the stray herself and wondered what we could do with her. I thought that making her very wealthy would be a good start, but when you think of wealthy you don’t think of kicking ass (unless you also think of Bruce Wayne, but that’s another story), so how do we turn a privileged heiress into a scrappy ass-kicking juke leader?

Kidnapping! A little counter programming, a little education, a little martial arts training, and a little Stockholm Syndrome makes a good little character. My idea for the backstory is this: Some ex-jukes who either were released or managed to escape kidnap the wealthiest girl in the world and take her to the prison planet. There, they plan to announce their hostage, who has been missing for two Earth years, and use her as a bargaining chip to get some of their compatriots sprung. Spring the boys, they’ll say, or we’ll send this sweet little morsel down to be torn to shreds by the prisoners.

Over the course of the voyage, instead of putting her to sleep they train her, indoctrinate her and explain the real world to her. She becomes a better student than they could ever imagine. Good thing, too, because they fucked up on entry and the ship is going to be vaporized (alternate: The ship is blasted out of the sky by local authorities, not knowing she is onboard. That could bring some political ramifications down upon the local police from the father that gives the Juke escape squad some financial and other help down the road). One of the men, recognizing the danger, knocks her out, throws her in an escape hatch and jettisons her. She has a rough landing, barely escaping with her life and gets a huge knock on the head. She walks for miles, sheds her tattered clothes, and finally passes out on the sand where the jukes find her.

From there, a number of things can happen, and we’ll need to discuss this in more detail, but my basic idea is that she is sympathetic to the Juke’s plight, and because she’s not tagged, can move autonomously and work with the Jukes to get them freed. There is a mystery to solve regarding just who the men that kidnapped her were coming to rescue. Also, would they really have gone through with it if they hadn’t have crashed? Would they really have just sent her down to the surface to face her fate? Ironic, if so, that they did just that to save her when originally that was the whole content of their threat.

But, of course, the most important thing is that she kicks ass now, and will lead the Jukes to the future.

Does the backstory become part of the story? I’d imagine it would have to, although I see the opening as a bunch of tough looking men walking through the desert and finding a naked woman. We could learn the rest through flashbacks later on.

One final question to answer: Why is she mute? Well, I don’t think she actually is, but she just keeps her mouth shut to soak it all in until she knows the lay of the land. She’s smart and observant.

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